Cleaning Up The Edmonton Oil Spill


As the All-Star weekend approaches us, NHL teams look forward to beginning their 10-day break -- but not the Oilers. Instead, the Edmonton Oilers will begin cleaning up the oil spill caused by GM Peter Chiarelli.

What started as an oil leak back in the summer of 2016, has turned into a full blown oil spill reaching the severity levels of Deepwater Horizon. Thankfully this oil spill hasn't caused any casualties, but it's only a matter of time before the fans in Edmonton have Chiarelli's head.

Pete's first blockbuster deal was in the summer of 2016. This transaction involved sending Taylor Hall to New Jersey for defencemen Adam Larsson. Fast forward to 2018 and Hallsy wins the Hart trophy as MVP of the league, while the Swede put up a modest 35 points in the two seasons with his new club.

Larsson can't even fathom his struggles right now, as Taylor is averaging over a point a game.

How this disastrous deal didn't send Peter packing is remarkable but he was only getting started.

Next up on Chiarelli's shit list; Jordan Eberle. After a 51-point season and a goalless playoff run, it was time to ship him out for an underachieving Ryan Strome, who hasn't seen a 50-point season since 2015 -- and that was a career-high. This move was dubbed as a salary dump to clear cap space and bring on a young, promising forward. However, that young, promising forward failed to meet a fraction of Edmonton's expectations and he was dumped in the fall for Ryan Spooner.

Based on their age and stats, these two players are nearly identical. Both players had two points before the trade and it was evident they both needed change. Chiarelli drafted Spooner to Boston back in 2010 and witnessed his development first-hand. He knows or should know exactly what type of player he is bringing into his organization. That's why Pete's next move dropped the jaws of the entire hockey word.

Chia could have saved every ones time if he just put Eberle on waivers back in the summer of 2017 and wasn't Rattie widely-considered the winger Connor McDavid needs?

This has caused the hyper-passionate Oilers' fan base to analyze the depth of this trade right to it's very core.

Chiarelli may not be completely accountable, but this trade tree shows he essentially put Mark Messier on waivers. Pete must have compromising pictures of Dan Katz to still be employed after this.

Some may chalk this up as managerial misfortune, but those who look into the depths of Peter's career show that he had this karma coming for a long time. It all began in 2006, when Chiarelli was first hired onto the Bruins. His first move as Bruins GM resulted in one of the worst goalie trades for Maple Leaf history.

And he wasn't even finished with us, continuing to bend us over three years later.

Can you imagine what the Leafs' roster would look like if Peter didn't touch it??

Can you imagine what the Oilers' roster would look like if Peter didn't touch it??

Well, thankfully after some big J journalism and thorough research, I have proposed a deal that can clean the slate for Chiarelli with both parties. After spending a countless amount of hours watching videos from PETA and national geographic, seeking the best ways to clean up and prevent oil spills, I have come up with the ultimate solution: Darnell Nurse and Zack Kassian for William Nylander.

The Leafs primary focus is now on signing Matthews and Marner this summer. We all envisioned having Mitch, Auston and Willy, but after Nylander held out till December to sign, he has simply set himself up for failure with this organization. It's very hard to come back from this kind of setback, however, I know William has the ability to do it but it may have to be somewhere else.

As for the Oilers, the only thing scarier than Nylander and Matthews together last year would be Nylander and McDavid. Darnell Nurse has taken a major role in the top line defensive pairing, playing close to 30 minutes a night since Klefbom's injury. He is on pace for a career-high in points and his intensity and grit in the defensive end is exactly what the Leafs are missing. Zack Kassian could finally be our true fourth-line right winger and continue to do these type of plays.

The Leafs are last place in two miscellaneous, yet, major categories that experts may have overlooked: Slap shots taken and penalty minutes. With the addition of Zack and his impressive 77 PIMS, and Darnell Nurse's ability to take a 102 mph canon aimlessly on net (like he just did at the Oilers Skills comp, winning this esteemed event last weekend), the Buds should be able to get back to prominence.

Connor McDavid deserves this and the Leafs don't need seven million dollar players skating on the fourth line because we don't know where to plug him in.

After I send copies of this proposal to both the Oilers Entertainment Group and Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, the ball will be in your court, Pete. Or you'll likely be fired before any executive catches wind of this brilliant proposal. My guess is the latter.