Senators Problems Turn Uber


As most of the hockey community knows, the situation in Ottawa has been ugly this past year. I may have never stepped foot in the Ottawa Senators change room, but you can smell the dumpster fire over there from here in Toronto. Now if hockey folklore has taught us anything, there is one surefire way to eliminate these internal team problems.

This was Commies suggestion to a struggling Oilers unit last year. They went on to beat Detroit 6-2 the following night.

This was Jake Vorachek's response to the media when asked about busting a 10-game slump last year.

Fun fact: Jake was roomies with Mike Commodore in Columbus.

It would only make sense that the solution to all of Ottawa's woes would be at the end of a bottle. Perhaps in a hot place opposite to Ottawa, where they would hardly get recognized and just be themselves. So, 10 year-veteran Matt Duchene gathered a couple of the young guys to hit the town in Phoenix, Arizona a night before their game.

However, unfortunately after going 1-3 since their night out, it seems that the remedy to the Sens is beyond the bottle. But that night out on the town did offer a few suggestions from several Senators, which can be seen in this Uber dashcam footage that was released Monday.

That's such a Beck Taxi move to narc on your customers for personal gain. This dude is obviously a hard-working no body and he saw a chance to financially capitalize on this footage by throwing the Uber rule book out his window. Hopefully he made enough coin to sit on until his next gig, because he will be reprimanded for this. Much like Martin Raymond may be after the world publicly discovered his coaching incompetence. There are unwritten rules in Ubers that everyone should value and obey. 2006 Stanley Cup Champion and ex Uber driver Mike Commodore knows that all too well.

It's too bad the boys didn't know what was happening as they spilled the beans. I'm sure Colin White would have given the cabbie the Patty Kane treatment if he knew

But this has to be a tough pill for Coach Marty to swallow. I recently have gone full circle in the hockey world, coaching the baddest band of 7 year olds the North York Hockey League has ever seen. But if I ever found footage of my guys getting into a cab headed to Lazer Quest for their next pizza party talking about me like that, it would truly take the wind out of my sails.

Can you imagine the morning skate on Tuesday? If Marty wants his room back he needs to act irrationally and bag skate them till the point of complete exhaustion. He needs to let his players know that no matter where they are, he will find out if they put him on blast just like he found out Monday.

However, this is very standard in both sports and ordinary, mundane 9-5 jobs. People always talk about their boss or co-workers, and coaches always talk about their players and staff. Only difference is no one is taping it and dissecting every word that was said. On the bright side - at least all the players seem to be on the same page here.

Before starting the video and learning about what makes the Senators the butt of all jokes in the NHL, I assumed this was another penny pinching tactic by Eugene Melnyk having players take team Ubers to their games. When Eugene isn't threatening to sell the Sens because of lack of attendance, he's cooking up scripted, cringe-worthy videos of current Senators attempting to ease the concerns of Sens nation.

Now, as someone who has been on the right side of the Battle of Ontario for the last 25 years, I couldn't be more ecstatic to see what's happening in our Nations Capital. It's just too bad Alfredsson wasn't in that cab to add to this embarrassment.