Sister Act III: AndNun Basketball


With the resurrection of Jesus Christ scheduled for this coming Sunday on April Fools, Our Lord and Savior has united with prominent members of the Catholic Church to start flexing on all non-believers. JC has sent his right hand woman Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt on a mission from God. Sister Jean was selected to wear the glass slipper and take the #11 ranked Loyola Ramblers to the Final Four for the first time since 1963. The Ramblers went on to win the championship that year in one of the most socially significant games in history. It was known as the “Game of Change,” matching the Ramblers and their primarily black roster against an all-white Mississippi State team at the height of the civil rights movement.

Here's a visual of Sister Jean back in 1963 to illustrate how long it's truly been.

Here she is seen praying on her knees with her basketball in arms reach, manifesting the miracle hoop heads are able to witness today.

Sinners will say this is all a coincidence but believers know that this Cinderella story in the making is simply Gods work.

For starters, Loyola now holds the best winning percentage in March Madness history (.765, 13-4). Recently surpassing Duke's .755 win percentage (111-36).

Secondly, Loyola is the first team in history to win 3 games off last second miracle jumpers.

It's hard to watch that 1 minute miracle compilation without developing severe goosebumps, unless you're a Neo-Nazi and in that case by the end of this article you'll probably convert anyways.

The Ramblers are now on a 14 game win streak and haven't lost a game since the end of January. With that momentum and the power of Christ behind Loyola, they should be unstoppable and continue their undefeated record in Final Four match-ups.

Nowadays, it seems religion may cause more harm than good and that should certainly concern the Michigan Wolverines Saturday. I am a practicing Catholic. Or I may be a Christian. Still unsure about the differences and which sect I belong to but I went to Sunday school for one year and I like to drink the blood of Christ on certain occasions. And like every other religion, the Catholic Church has done some shady things in the past and they may be back to their old ways with this one.

Once I found out that Sister Jean didn't even have Loyola winning in her bracket I knew something was fishy and got digging immediately.

Perhaps this was a ploy to deflect the attention away from the remaining 5, 532 brackets that remain perfect and had Loyola going this far. A number eerily similar to the number of Bishops in the Catholic Church (5, 237).

Can this go all the way to the Pope? Is it possible that all the donations collected every Sunday from every parish was put into one pot for the Bishops to split on a perfect bracket after rigging the tournament ? Probably not. But there is no other logical explanation for this supernatural phenomenon that we are witnessing.

If Loyola wins Saturday then Hollywood will have no choice but to make a movie out of this. They don't even need to win the finals with all the content they're working with now. Plus, Sister Jean has enough swagger to carry the rest of the film anyways.