Olympics Has Fallen


The Olympics have a tendency to be more of a headache and problem for the hosting country, rather than a global achievement. That trend is no different with the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. Already off to an unappealing start with no NHL players participating and all Russian athletes banned from participation for steroid use, you would hope things couldn't get any worse for the South Koreans. But with the notorious norovirus spreading like wildfire, over a thousand security guards for the Olympics caught the outbreak and the Olympic security is now being replaced by the military.

The last summer Olympics in Rio had the zika virus and this year's winter Olympics have norovirus, more commonly known as bird flu. This disease was discovered on a chicken farm located 80 miles off Pyeongchang. This virus is deadly and The World Health Organization has reported 6 deaths since 2016. With an estimated 3000 athletes and 100 000 guests about to arrive in the region and over 1000 security personnel already infected with the virus, this has created a mass hysteria among South Korea. So far, no one infected is life threatening but with security guards painting the town brown all day and requiring military action for help, this takes away from a much bigger issue at hand. North Korea.

Widely known as the biggest troll on earth, Kim Jung Un, decided he was going to have a military parade on Thursday, to upstage the Olympics and show off his rapidly-growing arsenal. This may scare some, however Trump and the gang immediately ordered their American military parade from the Pentagon and it is being worked on by the highest levels of military. These two have been verbally jousting for months, attempting to out troll one another. Although, no one has pressed the nuke button that sits on their desks, it's only a matter of time before we have Dennis Rodman mediate this squabble.

Pyeongchang has a lot on their plate these next two weeks. The Russian athletes are a winter Olympics powerhouse. Mainly due to their ability to cheat and juice under the radar and now they are banned for just that. Widely considered the flagship, Men's Hockey, has no NHL players participating this year. And now the spectators that are still willing to make the voyage have to fear for their lives from viruses and the crazy neighbor next door. The Jamaican bobsled team making the podium couldn't even save the 2018 Winter Olympics. Even with Sanka's lucky egg.

To add to these woes, weather experts predict that this will be the coldest Olympics ever. Surpassing the 1994 Olympics in Lillehammer, Norway, which reached a record low 12 degrees Fahrenheit. The temperature with wind chill Friday at the opening ceremonies is expected to be as low as 7 degrees Fahrenheit. This will be challenging since there is no roof over the stadium or central heating, and in November a concert was held in the same venue and had 6 people hospitalized for hypothermia.

But athletes are finding ways to stay warm. This year saw a record-breaking 110 000 condoms handed out to athletes. That is roughly 37 condoms per athlete. That's a lot of contact for a country that's virus ridden at the moment. Also, to even use half those condoms in your 16 day window, while competing with elite athletes, would be a task Wilt Chamberlain would have trouble completing. Then again, these Olympic villages are basically a summer camp for young, in-shape athletes with lots of energy to burn and stress to relief, with no supervision. The debauchery is expected and understandable but it's too bad those Olympic Village walls can't talk. An anonymous Olympian once said "what happens in the village, stays in the village." Rules that every Olympian should live by.

Plus, can you really call yourself an Olympian if your not using your medals to score chicks? I may never know what goes on in the village, but the common man like myself can still imagine. Some harmless, International, Olympian-on-Olympian fun.

Despite all these problems, hopefully the athletes will have a good time and only bring back some medals. Gold if you're a Canadian.